Speaker: Greg Sanders

Passage: Titus 2

BECOMING THE HOUSEHOLDS OF GOD PT.2

Okay, get your Bibles, Titus chapter 2. Here we go. Working through the Book of Titus, we’re in chapter 2. We’ve kind of put a title on Chapter 2: Becoming the Households of God. What do we mean by that? 

Really, I believe Paul’s doing something very unique in Crete. Paul’s been to Crete before he left Titus there. In fact, he says it in the opening verses, “I left you there to appoint elders.” So, we know he’s been there, and what we know of him being there is he’s assessed the culture, he’s looked at the culture, he’s witnessed the culture. And so, now he’s providing teaching, and he’s really coaching them on what it looks like to live right in the home. 

That’s going to be tough for us as Americans. In Western culture, we tend to have a belief set that is My house, my rules. You don’t get to speak into how I live in my home. And Paul’s answer is, That’s actually not true because when you came to Christ, you gave your life to Christ, and He will now speak into every aspect of your life. 

And so, we have to prepare ourselves for that. And really, there’s a couple questions that I want us to ask and hold in our minds in this chapter, the first one is: how am I living in my home? I don’t care if you’re married with a family or if you have roommates or if you live alone, the question is still relevant– how am I living in my home? 

But a more important question would be the secondary question, which is: am I living how Jesus wants me to and has called me to live in my home? Am I aligning with Him in my home? Are my practices in my home aligning with Him? Do my attitudes and my behaviors align with Him? That’s really the nitty-gritty that Paul’s going to dig into. 

Paul’s working to call the people of God to be who Jesus wants them to be in their homes. For us to be able to bite into that as people, we have to have really unoffendable natures because Paul’s going to first off start with this challenge. 

LIVING THAT REFLECTS RIGHT TEACHING

I talked about it last week, and I’m going to remind us, he says, “But as for you, promote the kind of living that reflects right teaching.” Promote the kind of living that reflects right teaching. 

We looked at that phrase, “But as for you…” My challenge is that when it says, “But as for you,” we should each interpret it as, But as for me. I got to internalize this. I have to take it to heart as if it was written to me.

“Promote the kind of living that reflects right teaching.” What does he mean? The word promote means to speak out or to utter or to say or to put on display, is a better way to understand it. “The kind of living,” the word means things or actions. So, Paul’s talking about behaviors and patterns. 

What he’s talking about is the actions that we create with our life decisions. Maybe he’s talking about the byproducts that we create with our life decisions, is a better way to say it. To reflect is an interesting word. It means to tower up. It’s the idea of putting something on display. 

Promote the kind of living that reflects right teaching. What he’s communicating is the reality that Jesus taught as a man thinks in his heart, so is how we live out of what we dwell upon. And Paul’s challenging Titus to put the lifestyle of Jesus in front of people so they can learn from him, right? 

Teaching here is healthy and sound instruction, simple and profound. It means the way we live every day in the micro-moments reveals what we actually understand about Jesus in the Scriptures. That puts a massive priority on studying and learning correctly. 

And when I say studying and learning correctly, I want to be clear: I’m not just talking about at this desk. I mean, individually, we need to be people that study and learn correctly. When we come to teaching like this, it’s important to settle our emotional posture. 

What do I mean by that? Put your guard down. Don’t be defensive. Why? Because Paul’s going to offend us, but what he’s really going to do is communicate a lifestyle that our King wants us to live. 

It’s not that Jesus is out to just change us. A better statement is that He understands that if we do what He says, our lives will be what He wants them to be. Jeremiah 29, I would remind us of this: “‘I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord. ‘Blessing, not cursing, a future and a hope.’” 

So, if something in this study hits you between the eyes, or it deals with how you live in your home, and you’re like, I don’t really like that, I would advise you put your defenses down and trust the process, which is, Jesus knows best. Say that with me, Jesus knows best. He really does. 

I would offer that He has a desire for how we work in the marketplace, how we respond in our employment, how we manage our homes, how we handle ourselves in our homes, how we act in our cities, the way we interact with our neighbors. He has something to say about all of it. 

Your life is not just up to how you feel. That’s what Paul’s going to communicate here. 

So, we know that the Holy Spirit is the guide and the teacher. So, if we’re being taught by the Holy Spirit, then we know we’re being taught by the Lord. And the only right answer when He confronts something is to repent. Take it to heart. Let it confront our nature. Let it confront our brokenness. And look at it and go, Oh, why am I saying that? 

KINGDOM MASCULINITY

Because Paul’s going to deal with some really nitty-gritty stuff. We talked about it last week as guys teach the older men to exercise self-control, to be worthy of respect, to live wisely. They must have strong faith and be filled with love and patience. This is the call of God for Kingdom masculinity, what men are to look like in the Kingdom. This isn’t a call on leadership. This call is on every man. 

We looked at four simple things that call us, the first one: men, younger and older, are to be sober in life, moderate in all things. Guys, it means this: nothing has control of you other than Jesus. Not a job, not a hobby, not an addiction, nothing. Nothing is ahead of Him. He is preeminent, is the word Paul will use in Colossians. He’s first. 

Secondly, men are to be easy to respect and follow. That’s a really interesting thing. He uses the word to be worthy of respect. What that really breaks down to is to live lives that are venerated, which means that they’re easy. How many ladies would agree it’s easier to follow a guy who’s worthy of respect than one who’s not right?

So, there’s this whole breakdown in the Scriptures which is, husbands love your wives as Christ loved the Church, wives submit to your husbands. And we have this gender reality that the Scriptures teach. 

And through history, there’s been a lot of teaching around wives submit to your husbands. Paul comes in here and says, Let me give you a trick: live in a way that’s easy to follow. You’re going to be easy to follow, guys. 

What that means for us is that our lives speak of integrity, and we’re shaping our lives to look like Jesus, to act like Jesus. We’re studying His nature, His character, so that those around us can see what true Kingdom character looks like. 

There’s a phrase that we happened upon last week, and I’ve been thinking about it all week: men, we are to live in a way that lets those around us know what it feels like to be next to Jesus. The weight of that is substantial, that I have a responsibility in the Kingdom to be a man that carries the nature of Christ so much so those around me would say, I just feel like I’m with Jesus when you’re around you.  

Now I know, if you’re like me, your answer is, That’s not possible. It is possible. Philippians says we actually have the power to rule over sin, that we don’t have to give in to our nature because of Christ in us, who is the hope of glory, we actually can rule over our flesh and choose His nature at all times. 

The third thing is their life decisions and their impulses are for wisdom and for the outcome. Which means there’s two questions we’re asking as men: is this decision going to lead me where I want to go? And is this decision going to lead me where Jesus wants me to go? Both of those matter. 

What that means is there is no place as a Kingdom man that we live without intentionality. Passivity doesn’t happen. I am choosing at all times decisions that take me where He wants me to go, help me become who He wants me to be. I would offer this any place we’re not doing that is a place we’re offering the enemy access. 

The fourth thing is men are to have their belief in Jesus drive how they love others and how they endure difficulties. This is a huge idea. 

I know that my faith and my belief in Jesus is supposed to be where my love is rooted from towards others, which means my love towards others is not rooted in my desire. My love for others is not rooted in what it does for me personally or whether or not I feel it. It’s rooted in Heaven. 

My willingness to stay in difficulty and hardship, to go through tough situations, is not rooted in my ability to make it. I don’t go through them and stay in them because I can. I go through them and stay in them because I’m drawing strength from Heaven to do it. 

It breaks down like this: guys, we are called to live from the other side, which means we have to have a relational encounter before the King. That is the beginning of our day, where I go to Him and I draw out of His resources the love I need to take care of my family, my friends, those around me, my coworkers. 

I draw out of His resources the strength I need to endure the difficulty that’s in front of me. It also means I have to understand that He is sovereign. He’s in charge of everything, and because He’s placed me where I am, I can quit whining about it and just live into it. That’s Paul’s picture for Kingdom masculinity.

PAUL’S MESSAGE TO OLDER WOMEN

Now, we get to deal with the older women. Paul says in verse 3, “Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that is appropriate for someone serving the Lord. They must not go around speaking evil of others and must not be heavy drinkers. Instead, they should teach others what is good. These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to take care of their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then, they will not bring shame on the word of God.” 

Okay, we’re gonna break this into two halves. We’re gonna deal with half one this week, second half next week. Paul does something here that’s unique. When he deals with the men, he has a teaching to older men, and then he has a unique teaching to younger men. 

He tells younger men they are to really draw on leadership. He tells Titus, you are to encourage the younger men. He does something different here with the women. He has a teaching to older women, and then he says to the older women, you are to train the younger women. It’s a really interesting shift. 

Why would that happen? Well, a couple thoughts: one, maybe it’s that God built ladies that they’re better at nurturing, and maybe they’re better at being taught hands-on. I think it might also have to do with the fact that men, by nature, need to come under authority, and so Paul’s calling them to a discipline, to where they have to come under authority to learn. 

Both of those could be really reasonable solutions for this. I’m not completely sure why, but what we do know is there’s a mandate for a generational coaching, that older women are to coach younger women. 

That’s really interesting in our day and in our time. It’s very contrary to our culture. We live in a culture that the answer is, Even in the church, my life is my business, you don’t get to speak to it. The problem is, Paul’s statement is, That’s not actually right. 

So we’re going to vet that. We’re going to mine that. I would offer that on the other side of this, if we’re going to promote the kind of living that reflects right teaching, we’re going to have to build some systems and some mechanisms so this can happen. 

Because I think we’ve come upon something in the Scripture where, for me, the answer was, Huh, I didn’t actually know that was there. What do you know? We’ve been mining this and mulling it in our study sessions, and just talking about what are the ripples that are going to happen when we begin this? I think there’s going to be a lot of them. 

Who is this to? We have to answer that question because this similarly teaches older women. First thing I want to say, this first part is written to older women. Well, we talked about who this was last week with older men, remembering we’re in an ancient time where life expectancy is much different than it is now in this ancient time, from everything we can study archeologically. 

Life expectancy was, let’s call it, thirty-seven to forty-five, in that realm, that was average. It doesn’t mean there weren’t people older. The problem is, in our culture, when we talk about older women, the natural thing that comes to mind is probably 60s, 70s, 80s. 

That’s when we were thinking, well, the concern I have is because that’s our mindset, if we superimpose that mindset into this text, we give ourselves a pass to not be mature until then, and that’s a mistake. 

I would offer that what Paul’s really aiming at just if we were going to put a line in the sand for an age that gives us something to bank on, a good round age, this is probably anyone over twenty-nine. That would have been Paul’s aim because of where their life expectancy would be. 

Now, I know if you’re here and you’re like, I am 29, you just called me an old lady. I did not. The Scripture uses a word that’s really important. It’s the same word for elder. It’s presbyteros, and it’s a female term for the word he uses for male. It just means a mature woman. 

Here’s what I want you to grab onto: I believe Paul’s statement is, at this age, that we would still call someone very young, Paul’s expecting maturity. That’s important for us to know. I love that. He says, “Similarly, teach the older women” because the word similarly means in the same way. 

And I think it does something that’s really important: I think it brings absolute equality to women in the church. Because what he says is, Here’s how you teach the men, and I want you to teach the women the exact same way. I want you to challenge them directly. 

So, if you’ve ever come out of a stream that said, Oh, women are supposed to, like, not ask questions in church, just supposed to go home and ask their husbands or their guy, and he’s supposed to explain it, that’s absolute heresy. Paul just says it right here. He’s bringing equality. He’s bringing everybody. 

I also love that the way he challenges women, which, for the record, I think is stronger than how he challenges men, has a lot to do with Crete. It also has to do with what Paul knows is the potentiality in women, that there’s something God has put in women that is so remarkable that if the women get it right, it begins to shape the entire house of God. 

Okay, here we go. I want us to take these following verses as a picture of what a Kingdom woman is to be, what Paul’s stating Kingdom femininity looks like. I would again ask you to consider that you cannot allow our culture and what we’ve been raised in to dictate our view of this. 

We have to let the Scriptures dictate this because if we let our culture dictate our view of femininity, we’ve placed our culture as our God. If we allow the Scriptures to dictate our view, we’ve put the Lord back at the helm, which is where His rightful place is. 

HOW JESUS REVEALS THE FATHER

I want to do the same thing we did with men, which is to put Jesus as the forefront. Because we ended with Romans 13 last week, which Paul will say, “Instead of your nature, put on the nature of Christ, make no allowance for the flesh.” 

So, Paul’s gonna always do this thing where he calls us to look at Jesus, to see Jesus, to really inspect the man and how He lived. And so, I want to begin with us, where Paul says to women to live in a way that’s appropriate for someone serving Jesus. 

I want to call us to see that Jesus lived in a way that was appropriate for someone revealing the Father. If we consider His life, it was absolutely one hundred percent about revealing the Father to humanity. 

In John 17, He says, “O righteous father, the world doesn’t know you, but I do, and these disciples know you sent me. I have revealed you to them, and I will keep on revealing you. I will do this so that your love for me may be in them and I in them.” 

Paul calls women to this same standard and the same style of principle. He wants you to live in a way that is appropriate for someone serving Jesus. 

I would add a word that I think is very relevant to the text, someone revealing Jesus. The word to live here is to have a demeanor or a behavior or to take a position. He’s calling for you to shape your behavior and your demeanor and the positions you stand in as someone who’s appropriate. 

The word appropriate here means fitting for worship, making sense when connected to holiness or living sacred to God. If you remember, in Israel, the Lord would say to Israel, set apart. They were called to be set apart. It’s this idea: consecrated, separated, protected. 

The concept of the word is to live carefully so as to be capable of the standard of a priest at the altar. It’s a purity concept. It means you’re living in a way so you can minister to the Lord. You don’t ever have to come in and say, Oh, hey, that thing and that thing and that thing, I shouldn’t be here right now. I need to go fix that. You’re living with a carefulness. 

Older women are to live with every behavior being chosen– catch this– being chosen for how it will affect their reflection of Jesus. What that is, is a calling to measure how you live based on what it communicates about Jesus, not what it communicates about you. 

Wouldn’t that change Instagram? Think about that, you’re adopting a lifestyle that with the main focus being, what does my life communicate about Jesus, instead of, what does it communicate about me? 

What Paul’s giving is a life pattern. He saying, I want you to take Jesus’s life pattern of revealing the Father, and I want you to adopt that life pattern to reveal him. 

How did Jesus reveal the Father? He says in John 5:19, “I assure you the Son can do nothing by himself. He does only what he sees the Father doing. Whatever the Father does, the Son also does.” 

How do you see the Father doing something? How do you see Jesus doing something? How do you hear Jesus saying something without having an encounter with Him? I would say that hard-wired into this Kingdom femininity is a requirement to have a face-to-face encounter with Jesus. You got to spend time with Him, and you’re spending time with Him so that you reflect Him right. 

What Jesus did to reveal the Father was He measured every decision, every word, and every action with one aim: He wanted to reveal the Father’s nature and help other people learn about it. What Paul’s saying to women is, I want you to do the same thing. I want you to govern every decision, every word, and every action with the aim of revealing Jesus to those around you. 

I would offer that the first place that is to be revealed is within your home. There’s a principle that comes up in Acts about the spread of the Gospel to Jerusalem, Judea, and the uttermost parts of the world. It’s a principle of concentric circles. It expands. I would offer this: that there’s a humility that says, I’m going to be great at it in the small circle, then I’m going to get good at it outside of there. 

The problem with our culture is we tend to treat the outside people better than the inside people. Have you ever noticed? Anybody ever come to somebody’s house when you knew they were fighting, but they were like, Hey, how you doing, when they answered the door? They’re unwilling to show you their ugly nature, but they’re totally willing to show it to each other. 

Paul’s statement here is that we have to stop that. That we are at all times to be revealing Jesus within those intimate relationships. If you’re married, I would say the first priority in your life is am I revealing Jesus to my spouse? 

The second priority is everybody else. Paul will tell women that they must not go around speaking evil of others. And I would say that Jesus lived with a very severe discipline on His words. 

He says it in Matthew 15, it’s not what goes into a man that defiles him, but what comes out of him. Comes out of him. In other words, He chose to use His words carefully in order to communicate the Kingdom, again making sure His words communicate accurately who the Father was. 

HOW WOMEN ARE TO REVEAL THE FATHER

So, Paul’s call for this standard, there’s three phrases I want to look at. The phrase “must not” just means do not let it happen. It’s pretty simple. “Go around” is the idea of a life pattern. It’s really your everyday life. It’s where you go when you live, could be work, could be the marketplace. Doesn’t matter. 

Speaking evil is a really important word. The root word is diabolos. It’s the same word for Satan. The word means to slander or to be an accuser. And what Paul’s doing is he’s challenging older women in the Kingdom in how they use their ability to communicate, that it is never to be to tear down.

And he seems to be honing in on the dangerous nature of critical speech. And he calls women to abstain from doing it. Abstain is a strong word. Notice he doesn’t say, I want you to moderate your criticism. Just be moderate in it. You can do it, but just not too much. He says, Don’t do it at all. 

And by connecting critical speech to slander, what Paul’s doing is linking the Kingdom of darkness to this exercise, and he’s revealing that the willingness to step into this is sin, and it’s a partnership with hell. We’re stepping into his territory and becoming friends of the accuser. 

Paul will tell women not to be heavy drinkers. We see Jesus live in moderation. Matthew 11, Luke 7, Jesus’ critics, the people that are opposed to Him, His enemies, they come up to Him, they call him a drunkard and a glutton. Why were they calling Him that? They were trying to get dirt on Him.

But the real reason they were calling Him that is they were comparing him to John the Baptist, who had taken a Nazarite vow. And Nazarite vow means that you don’t drink at all. That was something the Lord called John the Baptist into, Jesus wasn’t called into that. That was a holiness calling that was in Hebrew culture, and it wasn’t one Jesus was called to. So, they were trying to kind of sully His character. 

But what we actually see Jesus do is not hold to a strange legalism. He lives with people, but he’s moderate with people. The word phrase here, from Paul to women, is to avoid being enslaved or the servant of much wine. 

In this situation, unlike where Paul’s dealing with a man and he says to exercise self-control, it’s very broad. It includes everything. This is actually talking about alcohol, it’s a clear challenge to be in control of your consumption of alcohol, not let it control you. 

In this, Paul’s teaching alcohol is not sin, but refusing to walk in moderation is. Here’s the question I would have you ask yourself: does my relationship with alcohol get in the way of my calling? Does it get in the way of who I am as a friend, as a wife, as a mother, all those things? 

That’s what Paul’s dealing with because in Crete, the women were getting hammered and not doing anything that mattered in culture. So, Paul’s statement is, don’t do that. My statement to you on alcohol is, if you choose it, great. You have to moderate it. Drunkenness is sin. 

Paul will call women, he says they should teach others what is good. I would say it this way: Jesus lives as an example for everyone. His life’s on display all the time. In Luke 18, a ruler comes to Him and says, “Good teacher,” and Jesus says, “Why do you call Me good?” Well, the teacher called Him good because He went around doing good. 

The phrase here means to be a master of what is good, that women should teach others what is good. It means to be a master of what is good. Here’s my question: how do you teach mastery of what is good, unless you’ve become a master of what is good? 

And this word good here means beautiful, handsome, excellent, eminent, choice, surpassing, precious, useful, suitable, commendable, admirable, morally excellent. It’s good. I’m creating goodness around me. 

This admonition brings a hard-wired calling, ladies, to put on display what is good and make your life an example for others to learn from. It’s interesting. Paul does not say be available when they ask. He says, I want you to live in such a way that others can model the way you’re living, and land on being good people, that when they look at your life, it’s so morally excellent, it’s so beautiful, it’s so well done, they’re like, Oh, man, that must be what a Jesus life looks like in a woman. 

What he’s doing here is describing what Kingdom femininity looks like, that women are to live with every behavior reflecting Jesus. I want to again exercise a reminder, first place, when you think about this, is in the home. 

KINGDOM FEMININITY

Here’s a phrase to think about: if Jesus wouldn’t do it, say it, or think it, then I won’t either. You’re like, Well, what happens when I screw up? Own it immediately. Don’t sit in your pride and walk away, stop in your tracks and go, Hey, you know? That was really not Christ, please forgive me. 

Well, yeah, but I’m mad. Yeah? Well, get over it. Why? Because your emotions were never given authority to control you. They’re wonderful servants and terrible masters. The Romans 13 concept, again, is instead put on the Lord Jesus Christ and make no provision or no allowance for the flesh, which means I’m not making any room in my life for the flesh to happen. 

But that’s so hard. Oh, agreed. That’s why he tells us that we’re crucified with Christ. That’s why Jesus says, “If anybody wants to follow Me, let him take up his cross.” In other words, grab onto that thing that you’re going to need to die on all the time and come with Me. 

What does that mean? It means that you cannot live a Kingdom life without planning on putting to death your nature. 

Secondly, women are to be careful to guard against critical slander, choosing to use their words to build. I would say a Kingdom woman chooses to build, not to tear down with her words. 

It’s interesting to me that Paul will say this to women. Why? I think women generally are better with language, far more capable. I think there’s times where some guys maybe transcend that, but as a general rule– how many guys would say she’s got more words than I do? That’s a nature thing. It’s the way we’re built. It’s the way we’re wired. With Belinda and I, it’s kind of reverse. I have all the words. 

But the goal here isn’t about how many words you have. The goal here is about how you use your words. And Paul’s statement is they cannot be to slander, it cannot be to tear down, it cannot be to accuse. It can only be to build, ladies. 

The third thing Paul says is that women are to manage their alcohol intake with moderation. Don’t use it to escape the chaos around you, is how I would say it. Because if you’re using it to desensitize, you don’t have to pay attention to the idiots around you, that’s probably the wrong answer. Paul says, “Be moderate.”

Fourthly, women are to put on display what is good, so much so that they, by the way they live, invite others to learn. I would say it this way: live with an active energy to create goodness around you. 

Goodness is always the byproduct of intentionality. It’s never an accident. You have to choose to be good, which means you have to bite down once in a while in your pride and go, I’m going to choose the right behavior, I’m going to choose the right response, I’m going to choose to serve. I’m going to choose to do things I don’t think I should have to do and I don’t want to do. 

I get it, but Paul’s statement here is very clear that you should teach others what is good. What he’s saying is you should example it so others can see it. 

Okay, that was the softer half of the two things. The second half– and here’s why I’m going to talk about the second half before we get there– the second half is important because Paul does something called assumptive reasoning, which is Paul will say to the older women, I want you to teach the younger women how to do this. And by saying that, what he’s saying is, I already expect that you know how to do this. I expect you’ve already been living this, therefore, you can teach it. 

And my concern is, I think the things he’s assuming haven’t been taught in our culture. I don’t think we’ve done a good job in the church of ever mining this out. And so, what we have is layers of age groups that have never really been challenged with this. And right doctrine leads to right practice. So, this is a place we have to learn as a family. 

All right, let’s stand. My goal is to keep it really unemotional and really gentle. Last thing I want, ladies, is for you to leave church going, Oh yeah, they just had an ax to grind. There’s no axes to grind. 

Guys, I hope you’re still working on stuff we talked about last week. It’s a life pattern. The thing all of us have to understand is the only way we do this well is to put on Jesus Christ and make no allowance for the flesh. 

I don’t give myself space to react. I shut it down. Isn’t that called stuffing your emotions? No, you shut it down. You go get on your face before Him, and you pour them out on Him. He is a safe place to dump your emotions. Your spouse is not. 

And a lot of times, we try to turn our spouses into our gods. We turn our children into our gods. It’s called enmeshment. We’ve got to learn the discipline of going to Him and laying what’s inside of us before Him. 

Holy Spirit, thank You for today. Thank You for the text. Thank You for the life that’s in this, the challenges that are in this. Lord, there’s like everything in me wants to just say, Oy, vey, there’s a lot here, and we’re not going to be able to just flip a switch and live this. 

But I would love to offer, Lord, that our hearts are before You to be taught, to be coached, to be convicted when we screw up, to be reminded we want to be the people You’ve called us to be. We want to be the households You’ve called us to be. We want to be beacons in our neighborhoods that just show people what it looks like to do it right. 

And Lord, I understand that our histories and our upbringings, they all affect that. But we’re asking You, Lord, to put a line in the sand and create in us the natures You’ve called for. Do whatever you have to do to lead us into that. We give You permission. We love You and we honor You. Jesus’ name, amen.